Written by: Janet Wolcott, PharmD, CPC, ELI-MP, CDTS
"May your CHOICES reflect your HOPES, and not your FEARS"
When you think about it, our entire day is created by choices we make from the moment we wake up in the morning until we place our head on our pillow at the end of the day. We make choices that will have minimal consequences (wearing a green shirt versus a red shirt), while others we make have the potential to be life changing (accepting a marriage proposal). Consider this, almost everything you do through out the day involves making choices, and sometimes when we select not to make a choice, in all honesty that is a choice.
What Should be taken into Consideration when making Choices?
- Choices should support your core values.
Core values are the fundamental beliefs you have for your life at this moment. Here is an interesting fact - core values can and will change as your life moves forward. Examples of core values are: Achievement, communication, emotional health, friendship, integrity, joy, personal growth, respect, self-care, spirituality, walking the talk, etc.. If a core value is time with your family, then deciding about a career choice that may have you working 70 hours a week versus 40 hours a week helps you in making that choice. Choices are best when then align with our core values. (If you are not sure of your core values, this is a wonderful opportunity to work with a life coach to aid you in identifying what your values are at this point in your life). Another example, bike riding with your child, two of your core values is family time and physical wellbeing. Your child is young and not biking at a speed you will gain true physical activity from. At that moment you will choice which core value is more important, time with family and stop worrying about the exercise and enjoy the time with your child. Second option is pushing the child to move faster, or counting this ride as family time and going out later for your physical exercise.
- Choices should support your current goals / intentions that you have set for yourself.
Does the choice you are making align with the intentions you have set for yourself, this week, month, or year? Which option in front of you will support your current intentions? If you have an intention this month to increase your physical activity and it comes time to select what you and your partner want to do for the evening; go for a beautiful hike through the rose gardens or make a wonderful dinner together. If you visit your intentions when making the choice, the intention will help guide you. Of course, packing a wonderful picnic to take on the hike is another great choice. A representative contacts you from a national organization and asks you to speak at their annual meeting, the preparation for this will take a tremendous amount of time. Your top three intentions at the moment are to gain the opportunity to enhance your public speaking skills, have your name become known in your business area, increase the opportunities for enhanced career choices within your industry. When your choices align with your goals and intentions has the potential to increases our energy and provides us with positive environment.
- Utilizing the old Pro verse Con list option.
What if you expand this list to add a few categories? The traditional way of taking out a piece of paper and draw a line down that center listing one side with Pro's and one with Con's. This may be somewhat helpful, but let us expand the process to obtain additional information to aid us in the selection process. This process may offer you a more clear view of the options and help clarify potential questions you may have about your choices. Let's select the family pet:
Adopt a dog
Dog would need to be let out approximately every 4-6 hours.
Need for dog walker
Kenneling / dog sitter with travel
Requires daily physical activity
Requires daily walks in all weather
Cleaning up the yard / picking up the poop
Owning a loving pet that the whole family will enjoy.
Help protect the house.
Help keep the kids entertained.
|No litter box to clean Will aid in the families well being.
Assist the family in obtaining regular physical activity.
Will play with the family.
|Adopt a cat
||Purchasing of litter
Cleaning litter box
Claws on furniture and people
Potential for spraying
Bringing home dead things
Keeps mice under control
No time limits on visiting or traveling
Keep themselves entertained
Have a life span of 15-20+ years
Will play usually for short periods of time
|Can travel overnight without having to worry about pet care.
Self care for most part (do not need to be walked, entertain themselves, bath them selves)
Does not slobber
Then you again come back to what is important to you. If traveling is a large part of your life, then you may consider the cat a more appropriate choice at this time. If traveling is not a concern and you want your family to have more opportunities for exercise throughout the day, then a dog may be the more appropriate choice. This is a tool that may assist you in your selection process.
Avoid making a choice out of FEAR.
The choices you make benefits you the most when they come from a good place inside of you. When you make choices to keep someone else happy, for fear of a negative outcome, or even fear of success then are you making the choice or is fear making the choice? The fear of making decisions is actually called decidophobia. So how do you not decidophobia to become part of the decision process?
When something does not go the way you want it to, instead of holding that in and allowing it to create fear which can affect future decisions. You can choice at that moment to learn from that experience, accepting what happen and letting it go. Otherwise next time a similar situation occurs the you have a higher probability of allowing fear to have an active role in your decision making process. This technique will hopefully let you break free from past experiences and allowing you to make choices without fear.
Do not look back.
Finally once you have made your choice and moved forward from it, do not second guess yourself. You cannot undo your choice at that point in time. You can get yourself into a vicious cycle of thinking did I make the right choice. Learn from it, let it go and then move forward. You cannot change the past, so focusing your time may prevent you from living in the current moment of your life. Remember it is time for you to EMBRACE Life, and one of the first steps to getting there is selecting how you will make your choices.
"It is our CHOICES that show what we TRULY are,
far more than our ABILITIES."
Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Monday, April 27, 2020 4:22:00 PM